Starting Thursday night, there will be five consecutive nights of football on television. Unlike last week—or even bowl season—every matchup is compelling on paper.
The Cowboys and Eagles kick off the NFL season Thursday night. The Chiefs and Chargers face off in Brazil on Friday night. No. 15 Michigan faces No. 18 Oklahoma on Saturday. Then Sunday night, the Bills face the Ravens. Finally, the Bears and Vikings wrap up the week on Monday night.
Of course, there are also games all day Saturday and Sunday. That’s a lot of football--and hours and days watching football.
"[Asking about too much football] is like walking in the desert for three days and finally finding water," said OutKick reader John Williams. "Can there be too much?"
"TOO MUCH football? That’s like Sydney Sweeney asking me if I want too much sex. Ridiculous question, my good sir," added another reader.
Look, we’re just asking the (almost taboo) question.
We don’t doubt the ratings will be strong. And we fully expect many OutKick readers—and staffers—to attempt the feat of five straight nights of football. The question is whether they will be exhausted, cramped up, too hungover to work the next day, and single by Monday at midnight.
Let's hope not.
We don’t want this hellacious slate to cost anyone their marriage or relationship. It’s one thing to tell your wife or girlfriend you can’t go out because of a game. It’s another to say you’re unavailable for five nights in a row. Worth trying, but risky.
"There’s never enough football. It’s like cold beer and pizza… even when it’s bad, it’s good," said reader Pat Shea.
That’s true, sir. But it’s not the quality that’s the concern—it’s the quantity.
Sure, other sports leagues play games every night of the season. However, very few fans watch multiple nationally televised NBA, NHL or MLB games a week. Football is different. Millions of fans consume several games per week.
Last weekend, for the first time ever, four college football games averaged more than 10 million viewers. Ohio State vs. Texas drew 16.6 million, a Week 1 record. For perspective: more people watched that game than any of the last seven NBA Finals or World Series. Most likely, at least two NFL prime time games this week will top 20 million viewers.
We aren’t judging you. We’re here for you. And to help, we’ve put together a few tips for surviving a five-night football binge.
Tip 1: Keep your options open. Don’t commit to parties, dates, or family gatherings—but don’t decline, either. A simple "We’ll see" works. That way, if a game turns into a dud or you start feeling guilty about your lack of movement over the weekend, you can still pivot.
Tip 2: Find a good sports bar or restaurant. It’s much better to "stumble" into a game out at dinner (as if you didn't know it was on) than to tell your significant other you’re skipping plans to stay home glued to the TV. Not foolproof, but always an option.
Tip 3: Pace yourself. Five nights of watching football is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t place all your betting wagers on the first night. Pizza is great—five straight nights of pizza is not. We suggest either getting drunk three of the five nights or light drinking for all five.
Again, we are just trying to help you avoid waking up Tuesday broke, multiple pounds heavier, and in need of a divorce attorney.
Other than that—enjoy the weekend.
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